My Last 5 Diary Entries
Pet My Shoe - 2005-01-24
Be a Hater - 2005-01-05
lazy ass - 2004-12-30
Layta Teller Exceptions - 2004-11-10
Holla-ween - 2004-10-29
The Three People That Actually Read This
Wendy Rules the Ottoman Empire
HRT - Humility X
Sweet Pete
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2004-07-18 - 9:09 p.m.
Frontman Part2
Ok, so where were we? (it you don�t know what I am talking about go back two entries) Right�.lets fast forward past all of the crap I had to go through to actually get backstage. (Stone cold nightmare). We all ended up going to some party and I have to say none of it was what I imagined. People talked to me and I had fun but HE wasn�t talking to me and stupid me I thought he would be sooo interested. But I guess it was hard for him to talk to anyone with the 12 girls trying to sit on his lap and have him sire their children. So after a while I thoughy to myself, fuck it I�m leaving, I �m already humiliated enough, I don�t need this. But then I thought NOO I�m not humiliated enough why not go for the gold. The worst thing that could happen is I will feel like shit in front of a bunch of people, most of whom, I don�t know. And if it turns out well, I will have a hell of a story to tell my friends tomorrow. I went up to him (past all of the hooker-groupie types) and I said��would you like to go for a walk?� and he said �why not�. And that was the beginning.Yes it was as simple as that. Oh it was so beautiful then. He wanted me. I would go meet him on the road and we would go off by ourselves and stay up all night. I gave him a key to my apartment and he would just show up. 1 am,7am, it didn�t matter. We would make love and talk and he would sing me songs. He could always make me laugh and he was so, so, beautiful.Dark eyes, slim hips, so often in my line of site. Strong shoulders and hands. He had lovely hands, he was always touching me. I don�t remember a time when we were together that he wasn�t physically touching me. The nape of my neck,the small of my back, my stomach. He would outline my lips and brows with his thumb. He could never kiss me with just lips, he would kiss me with his whole body. His want of me was like a drug. I was consumed. And then it was a little scary.
He didn�t like us to be around other people, especially the band. We would fight when I talked to them to much. He loved to watch me, he would watch me do anything: schoolwork, dishes, watch tv, it didn�t matter. His eyes would follow. His favorite place was between my thighs and he would stay there for hours even if we weren�t making love. He never wanted me to go to sleep. And then it was a lot scary. I started getting nervous. I stopped going to class, I stopped talking to my friends. I stopped living my life. And then he found out I was taking birth control. It wasn�t something I was trying to hide. I never even thought about it. Of course I was taking it. He went fucking crazy. He screamed at me and shook me and said I was trying to get away from him, that I didn�t want to have his baby because I didn�t plan to stay with him. I was totally confused, I rationalized that he was just going crazy because he had been on the road and he was drunk, drunk with being young and powerful and beautiful. With having everyone want you and no one really loving you. I told him I was sorry and that I loved him. But I didn�t stop taking it, and I didn�t tell it. And now I am sorry but I�m dreadfully tired. I guess for now I am an installment writer after all.
0 - Will the three people that actually read this please say something
in - out
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