My Last 5 Diary Entries

The Three People That Actually Read This

Mad crunk entry

Is it wrong that I just locked myself in the bathroom for 20 minutes to play tetris? I have become addicted to it ever since I got the new phone. P.s. I suck at it. While I was going through my day today�every time I thought of something I wanted to write about I put it on a little post-it. This is what my post-it says�boots, crumpacker, ass sex, jambalaya and crunk.

Ok so boots�Let me first say that my husband is a loving and decent man. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for putting up with my obsessions. I fell in love this weekend�it was a pure and true love. They are named �bailey�. They will go with jeans or dress clothes. I admit�they are not the MOST comfortable footwear that I own�but oh so beautiful. Now if you are reading this and you are someone with like say children or important things in your life�then I do apologize for going on so���but lemmetellya�..these boots are straight love�.and cuter than some of the at least adolescent stage children I have seen. Here is a picture if I didn�t mess this up.

I was thinking today about how hilarious it is to work in banking. Yes�though it may sound strange, you run across some of the funniest things. For example: you would not believe what people write on the �memo� line of checks. Here are a few that I have seen; �ass sex�, �for the greedy bitch�(alimony?), �for drugs�, �for giving good head� and �hot monkey love� . Ok I made the last one up, but the rest are all true. The thing that made me laugh today however wasn�t a check�it was this guy�s last name�Crumpacker. That is so funny to me, I don�t know why, but just think about it�Crumpacker. Poor bastard.

See now it is all starting to make sense.

Jambalaya�there is this angel of a woman that I work with. Her name is Bernet. I have been trying to get her ass to give me her jambalaya recipe for about 2 years. She finally gave it up. I made it this weekend. I think my husband fell in love with me all over again. He stirred it about 37 times during the day. He said �damm that smells good� about 43 times. So we thought�why keep it all to ourselves? Why not share it with Brian�s parents? So we called them and told them it would be ready about 7 and that we would bring it down. (we only live like 200 yards away from them). Brian�s mom said �oh no, I will come and get it�. Big mistake. Huge. Now don�t get me wrong. I really do LIKE my mother-in-law. She is a lovely woman and I in no way want to disparage her good name. But that woman can talk her fucking ass off and mine and yours too. We had the steamy, spicy homemade jambalaya in bowls in front of us. Hot buttery garlic bread in the oven, cold beer in the fridge, and her ass on our kitchen stool for exactly 28 minutes and 34 seconds. It was still good�even after we practically pushed her out the door. Ok, uh huh, yeah, BYE, ok, see ya, BYE, ha ha true, BYE.

So that leaves crunk. We bought these slang flash cards as a joke. They are so effing retarded and hilarious that I have deemed it necessary to share them with you. I will do this from time to time as the situation allows or if I just fucking feel like it. Here is the first installment. I am not making this up.

in - out