My Last 5 Diary Entries

The Three People That Actually Read This

Techno Creed

Let me tell you a little bit about the gym I go to. It is called �Curves� and yes it is a girly gym. I never thought of myself as someone who would go to a girly gym but basically it�s working out for dummies.

All the machines are in a big circle facing each other with little walking platforms between each machine. You change up every thirty seconds. The point apparently is to hit it as hard as you can for thirty seconds and then do a cool down, and so on. The great thing is I don�t have to think about working out. The not-so-great thing is I start thinking about a lot of other things. I often wonder if the other women identify me as the woman with the maniacal gleam in her eye and the shit eating grin.

Let�s see�so one of the things that trips me out is the music. They play any and every song you have ever heard of, with one small twist�.they run it down thru the filters of hell and give it a techno beat. All of the music sounds like it came from some crazy psychotic 80�s dance club. Also they make the song really fast and usually only play the first verse and the chorus over and over. So picture like- Creed (which is sort of hard to listen to at times in the first place�because let�s face it Scott Stapp is a bit of a pussy) anyway here is what you get �well I just heard� dun dun dun da dun dun dun �the news today� dun dun dun da----CHANGE STATIONS NOW.-- That is the freako computer voice the company plays over and over to tell you when to get your fat ass to move to the next machine. It always makes me laugh and I don�t understand why no one else is.

The second thing�chicks- if you go to a gym where all of the machines face other machines- do a crotch check�FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Yes I said it. I know it's nasty and I really don�t go around looking for stained crotches, but some sick fuck must run this place because they put the machine that you face forward and bend over on across from the machine that you straddle to stretch your inner thigh muscles. I could so have a called a bitch out a couple of times. Not that my gym is full of skanks---well hey�maybe it is.

Ok-thirdly. I think some of these machines are designed just to make you look like a pure ass. They have a machine that works out your sides---basically you shift your body from side to side�but the important thing is (so they tell me) is for your face to stay lined up with your body while shifting. You straight look like Stevie Wonder. As a matter of fact that is what I call this machine. Every time I see some clueless chick going at it hysterically on this machine�I die laughing. I feel bad for this but I feel worse when I get on it because my head starts to involuntarily do the Stevie Wonder �bob� ---keep in mind that this is all happening--to techno Creed. Maybe they just feel bad for me and think I am retarded. dun dun dun da dun dun dun

in - out