My Last 5 Diary Entries

The Three People That Actually Read This

Holy Shit

I�m pregnant. WOOHOO YIPPIE HOORAY! Fireworks, marching band, 21 gun salute! Holy shit. Really that has got to be the first and most real reaction�holy shit. Now, when I say this to some people they automatically assume it was unplanned or that I am unhappy. Not true. I just can�t believe it actually happened to me. It is something we were planning and something I always figured I would do�but to actually know it, for it to be real, to be set in motion�unfathomable. And then beautiful. Am I getting any of this across? I guess what I am trying to say is that I am so effing excited I can hardly stand it and I also can�t believe that I am really and truly going to have a freakin baby. We only stopped using birth control in June and we hadn�t been actively �trying��for all of the smartasses, what I mean is- it has taken a lot of my friends at least six months to get pregnant and we weren�t like taking temperatures or paying attention to cycles.

At any rate I will now take you on my short journey to mother-to-be land. It was exactly two weeks ago this night. I was at the gym contemplating my techno creed entry (p.s. sorry about leaving that stupid crap up so long) and I decided on a whim that I might go buy a pregnancy test afterward. One of my friends recently found out she was pregnant and it got me counting but as it always goes I couldn�t for the life of me remember times and dates and crap like that. After my work-out I almost decided to skip the store but then I thought�no I want some ice cream and oh yeah I might buy one of those tests.

Oh, now might be a good time to mention that Brian was at class. So I go into the grocery store and get my ice cream and the test�to illustrate how much stock I was putting into the thought that I was actually pregnant I will tell you that I bought the cheapo generic test. Then I started thinking, I know my thought process will seem quite strange�I started thinking that Brian didn�t have any beer. If by some chance I was pregnant I couldn�t tell homeboy and there be no beer. (if you are a guy who loves beer you understand) Anyway, so I decided I better take the test right now, in the store. So I went into the handicapped stall and hung up my purse and ice cream and peed on the stick. That shit showed up positive in like 23 seconds. I was like �holy shit�it can�t be true,it can�t be true---not because I was upset but because I didn�t want to dare to believe it�I didn�t want to hope and then find out I fucked up the test like an Id. So what did I do? I put the stick in the bag�carried my happy ass back over to the pharmacy and bought two more of the most expensive m-effers I could find.

When I was walking thru the store it felt like the twilight zone. People were asking me �how ya doin?� I felt like saying �pregnant!� I went and bought Brian some beer , went home and took another test. Still pregnant. It is now about 7:15 and this bitch isn�t getting home until 10:00�fuck me. And you know you can�t tell anyone other that the father first. I felt like taking the other test�I felt like taking 10 more tests, but I knew I�d better wait until dude came home because he, like me, would never believe it until he saw for himself. So I did the only thing a girl in my postion can do�I called his ass up and lied�I said I felt sick and really, really needed him to come home. Well this bitch must have known something was up because in he rolls half an hour later with a six-pack under his arm. WTF? He asked me how I was feeling and I told him I kinda lied�I said �I�m not sick, I�m pregnant� he said � your kidding right?� like 30 times�but like I said before-he didn�t want to hope either. So I peed on my third stick and then we danced around like dummies. We are still dancing. Yay us. P.s if you can think of any names �especially girl names please share. Double P.s. I would like to take this time to say that I told my good friend Wendy that very night after the husband and she has been a pure hype ass peach of a girl for not tellin it.

in - out