My Last 5 Diary Entries

The Three People That Actually Read This

Phones, Hormones, and Automobiles

I have been wanting to have sex so bad lately. Do you ever feel like you just don�t have the time? Don�t act like you don�t know what I am talking about. And don�t try to comment after you read this and say I should be lucky I have the opportunity in the first place. Sometimes it�s just hard (tee hee I said hard). Then I think �well dummy how hard will it be when you have kids�. Then I think �well dummy how will you even have kids if it never gets hard�. Do you see what I�m sayin? Oh well�I �m sure I�ll figure something out�don�t lose sleep.

So anyway we got these cool new mobile phones. I am not usually a whore for technology but this time I am singing a different tune. (I think that tune may be one of the plethora of ring tones I have downloaded) This phone can do so many things that I can�t even list them all. No, seriously I have no idea what half the shit is. I know it lights up when it rings and takes pictures and videos. I know I can play all of these really cool sounding ring tones and assign a different one to each person. Also if I take someone�s picture I can add it to my contact list and their name and picture will show up when they call me---AND if that weren�t enough to let me know who is calling I can just listen to their personal ring.

That sad part is�the cynical part of me can�t wait�I mean positively can�t wait�to use this phone for purposes of evil. I already know I will be taking pictures of freaks to send to Brian. I already tried to take a picture of this man at the mall with man boobs so big he was wearing a bra. He walked in the store before I could react since I had only had the phone about an hour. I will be quicker next time. I know this is wrong but I just can�t seem to stop myself. I love to crack on people and the fact that I could have a visual to go along with it�well that�s the proverbial icing on the cake. Oh and you can also record messages and ring tones�I have assigned someone in my phone book the ring tone �it�s the dickhead calling�. I will probably erase it soon so that I won�t fuck up and get in trouble�but for now it is my secret happiness.

At any rate� I was driving home this afternoon and I was thinking about the first car that I ever bought brand new. I was about 21, the time was October of 1995. I purchased a 1996 Chevy Cavalier. It was the first year of the new body style. A sporty little two door number�black with a racing stripe, stick shift, and bucket seats. I put in a Kenwood CD player. It was a totally great car for a 21 year-old. I am now 30. I fucking hate it. Sorry black car�I am no longer in love with you and I desperately want to break up and see other cars. Let me go back and give you a little history---My husband and I bought a new vehicle in June. A Dodge Durango, if you don�t know what a Durango is you should so I am not explaining. Just take my word for it�it is straight love. Anyway, we traded in our new nicer car so we would still only have one payment�..since we ride into work together it really wasn�t a bad choice. Also the Cavalier ( which will from here on out be referred to as the crappy black car) only has 70,000 miles on it, and we have driven all of them. We felt that it would be a better choice for the long run. So we gave it a wash and a wax. We shampooed the carpets and shined it up with armor all. It really looks great. I still hate it. Since Brian started school, we have been driving separately on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We trade off so REALLY I only have to drive it one day a week. I still hate it. Did I mention that the AC is broken. Now, don�t get me wrong. I know I am pussy for hating this car�in fact if my grandfather heard me complaining about this he would roll over in his grave and he�s not even dead. Also, he doesn�t have the internet or a computer for that matter so neener neener neener. Brian very desperately wants a Dakota and I must say I am weakening�..must�have�a�c�want�automatic�transmission�back�

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